It's still very disappointing in that moment, but it's important to keep the same pace and just continue on. I've come to realize that I give up too fast. I've been spending my life waiting for the answers to jump out at me, but I haven't made much effort finding them, and I know that because I haven't been rejected enough. You know you're doing the best you can when you have a few doors closed on you. I've been so afraid of being told that I'm not good enough, that I've never really put myself out there to be in a vulnerable position. What kind of a life is that? Too mellow for my liking. Too safe.
There's another issue: reality checks. How often do we really go looking for them? I know I don't, but I also know that sometimes it's necessary. It's good to have someone tell you that you didn't do it right. It's even good to have someone tell you that you absolutely suck because it'll get you thinking. Either you get to a point where you honestly confess that maybe what you thought you wanted wasn't really what you wanted, or you say "fuck you" to the doubt that you have, and find a way to make it work. I haven't decided where I stand with that fork in the road yet. Still in the middle, as I always am with everything, and still waiting to take my next step.
|I realize there is no fork in the road, but it's a road and it kind of works with my metaphor so cut me some slack.|