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Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Only a Coward Would Love This Way

I have been pleasantly surprised these past few weeks at people who take the time to compliment my writing on the blogs. I always loved writing, from a very young age. I remember when my mom got me my first book to write in, and thus began my love for poetry at the age of eleven. When I began writing, I used to love sharing my work with people because it made me excited to have created something from my own imagination. It made me excited to have found this new tool of words to express my thoughts and feelings, and the idea of rhyming words, or matching sounds intrigued me.

As children, for us every experience is a new one and it's met with excitement and little expectation of what it could become. There's no insecurity about being creative because it's not a matter of proving yourself, since the worth doesn't come from exchanging a talent or a skill for money, but the worth lies in how much enjoyment comes out of it. Unfortunately as adults, we forget this feeling because responsibility takes over and along with that comes expectations, and therefore a measurement of our own capabilities, which can cause insecurities. As I got older, these insecurities took over me and by the time I had enrolled into a creative writing class in grade twelve, I was convinced that I couldn't write for shit (see picture below for an example of my creative writing.)

The beginning of my university career didn't help either, because let's face it, high school definitely doesn't teach students to write proper academic essays, and sure some people are smart enough to figure it out, but I wasn't until much later (same picture applies to essay writing as well.)

Needless to say, I didn't share any of my work for a very long time. Writing was important for me and to have someone tell me that I wasn't good enough put me in a very vulnerable position. But then I realized "what a cowardly way to love something." Loving doesn't mean hiding the thing you love so you can keep it safe from being criticized. Rather, it's about showing your love with all of its flaws, and having a strong enough heart to take criticism, however it comes, to become better and to love more vigorously. In my case, the love for writing grew when I stopped caring about being "good enough" and started to simply write. Following the same sentiment as my first entry: Nothing happens, if nothing happens, so stop thinking so much and do something; you may be pleasantly surprised one day.