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Sunday, 12 May 2013

Happy "it's the hardest job in the fucking world" Day

Three Generations: Mom, Grandma, Me
Thank you for teaching me so much, even when you didn't always mean to. Thank you for never being afraid to show yourself as human to me, instead of an all-knowing adult who never makes mistakes, which is the way I see most parents act with their children. Thank you for apologizing when you were out of line, or protecting me when someone else was. Thank you, thank you, thank you.





Being a parent is not an easy task, and because it's not payed with anything tangible, its value can and does go unnoticed too often and way more than it should. To spend time with a child, watch them grow, put effort in everything that you do with them, and do it all with love, is beyond me. Like I said in a previous post, I'd be bringing cocktails to the park to help me get through the day, so any parent who doesn't do that wins in my books. Obviously I'm kidding, because it takes a few more requirements, other than not being alcoholic, to be a good parent. Point is that parenting is hard.

Actually one of my best friends and I were talking about how we both feel sympathetic to mothers who go crazy and kill their children. The truth is, I can totally understand how that can happen. It's awful, yes, but still understandable to me. When parents, and usually mothers because they are the ones that take care of children the majority of the time, are not supported enough, or don't feel like what they're doing is valued, well that would make anyone go crazy because it's actually such hard work.

Parents need a network of social support. We have this idea that parents have to do it all on their own, but historically the idea of family has never been two people raising children on their own and completely isolated. That's insane! Historically, family, friends, and communities have always created a social system where raising children is done by many adults who support them and support each other. Sure, it was for survival purposes, but the question I always ask when thinking of families is: Are we really surviving on our own now? People are social beings and they need each other for everything, so why not also raising children, which is the hardest job a person will ever have?

It is for this reason that I respect my mom today. We had many people who loved us and kept us afloat, no doubt. But also for the majority of my years growing up, it was just my mom and I. It was a difficult time and one that I've mostly blocked out. So thank you mom, for not going crazy enough to kill me. Thank you for hanging in there.

<3